Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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