Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
