duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
