I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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