I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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