I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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