I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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