Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
