I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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