i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
