Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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