went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
