just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
