Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
