Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
