Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
