And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
