I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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