I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
literally had 100 drinks last night.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
