it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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