Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
