so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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