Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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