2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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