We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
