I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
