i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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