Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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