im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
