Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
