Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
NoShamevember. You game?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
