Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
