I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
