yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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