I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
