So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
