Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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