thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
