so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His nipple licking is glorious
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