feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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