there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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