Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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