Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
