Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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