flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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