Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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