yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
