you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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