you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
