Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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