So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
