All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Come see our sink grown plant.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
