...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
