dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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