I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
