I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
