So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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