is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
