also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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