her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
