You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
