there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
