does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
